Trying not to worry rarely works. Giving worry a set time and place often does. Here’s how to try it this week.
November 6, 20262 min read
By Zainab Adesola, BSW, MA, CCC
Why “just stop thinking about it” doesn’t work
If you’ve ever tried to push a worry out of your head, you know what happens: it comes right back, often louder. Trying hard not to think about something keeps your mind checking whether it’s still there.
Worry also feels useful. It can seem like going over a problem one more time will keep you prepared, or keep something bad from happening. Most of the time, it just keeps you tired.
What a worry window is
A worry window is a short, set time each day when you worry on purpose. Outside that time, when a worry shows up, you note it and put it off until the window. It’s a common tool in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for people who overthink.
You’re not trying to stop worrying. You’re choosing when it happens, which gives you back the rest of your day.
How to try it
- Pick a time and a place. Choose 15 minutes at the same time each day, ideally in the late afternoon or early evening, and not in bed. A kitchen chair works well.
- Keep a worry list. During the day, when a worry comes up, write it down in a few words. Tell yourself, “I’ll think about this at 5:30,” and bring your attention back to what you were doing.
- Use the window. When the time comes, go through your list. For each worry, ask: is this something I can do something about?
- Make a next step, or let it be. If you can act, write one small next step, like “email the landlord tomorrow.” If you can’t, notice that, and leave it for now.
- Close the window. When the timer goes off, stop, even mid-worry. Do something that moves you out of it, like a short walk, cooking or calling someone.
What to expect
The first few days can feel awkward. Worries will slip out of the window, and that’s fine: note them and return to what you were doing. Many people find that by the time the window comes, some worries have already lost their charge. Others turn into a plan.
Two questions help during your window. How likely is this to actually happen, from 0 to 10? And if it did, how would I cope? Anxiety tends to overestimate the danger and underestimate you.
When to get help
If worry fills most of your day, is hard to control, and comes with poor sleep, tension or trouble concentrating for months, it may be generalized anxiety disorder. That’s very treatable. A therapist can help you build the worry window into a fuller plan, including learning to live with uncertainty, which is often what keeps worry going.
Sources
This article is general information, not medical, legal or insurance advice. For advice about your situation, talk to your health care provider, your insurer or a lawyer.
Questions
Quick answers.
Why not have the window right before bed?
Worrying right before sleep keeps your mind busy just when you want it to settle. An earlier time leaves room to wind down. If night is when worry hits hardest, read why anxiety gets louder at night.
What if a worry is urgent?
If something truly needs action today, act on it. The worry window is for the what-ifs that circle without an answer.
How long before it helps?
Give it two to three weeks of daily practice. Like any skill, it gets easier with repetition.
Keep Reading
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